The idea that Christ himself, the God of all creation, the king of kings takes up residency in me, a sinner… The God of Angle armies chooses to live in me… Such a hard thing to wrap my mind around as I work through my day to day. The day to day seems chaotic, out of control and hard to grasp. It presents me with delight and damage… It is a dangerous place this world. As one who has struggled for most of his life with anxiety and fear… I find it so much easier to see my self as separate from. To conceptualize God as distant, distracted and disappointed. I think about the theology I learned growing up, that God is to holy righteous and just to look upon sin… Knowing full well that most days I miss the mark. How is it that God chooses to live in me? To look at me, to touch me… Maybe God is who he says He is? Maybe the kingdom is not in trouble and neither am I. If this is true, then this is really good news. It changes everything. I can remember Jr. High basketball. I was a good player, could play well in pick up games, against friends when the pressure was off. When game time rolled around I would freeze, play scared and insecure… All eyes on me and I couldn’t handle the pressure. Always struggling to get the coaches approval, not sure of where I stood. I remember sitting the bench feeling so small and insignificant… I think that is how I often feel with God. I think of him as a coach that only plays the best kids… I am learning that this is not how the kingdom works. God chooses the weak, the less than, the ones in pain… He chooses to draw near, take hold and speak… He speaks over us with the truth of who we are becoming, not what the current score board says. God sees the finished product and watches us as we become the ones He made us to be. Hes not surprised or worried, sad or disappointed when we screw up. He smiles and says, come on, we have this. The kingdom is not in trouble… Neither am I! God heals our broken hearts and invites us to play! He says “shake it off and keep shooting!” He dosent bench us or withhold… He invites us to play in the unshakable kingdom or grace and love. That frees me up to love and be loved. Its good news friends.
Colorado Counseling and Jay Brandenburg Nau
